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<p>It's the million-dollar question: How do busy families stay on top of keeping their house organized?</p><p>The answer: Make it a family affair.</p><p>Between laundry, dishes and taking out the trash, maintaining a somewhat orderly household with kids can seem like an uphill battle. There is hope. Following an easy-to-implement action plan and you can help rally your family, develop positive life-long habits, create harmony, deeper bonds and, ultimately, conquer your household goals — together.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/GettyImages-1032845234_web.jpg" alt="Father holds his son while pushing a lawn mower in front of their house" class="right_image" /><h2>Delegate strategically</h2><p>Getting the kids involved is not only a savvy method for divvying up the household workload, but also an excellent way to get them ready for the responsibilities of adulthood. The key: ensure that the tasks you assign are age-appropriate and in line with their abilities.</p><p>Heather Nelson, a 40-year-old mom in Greenwich, CT, says the sweet spot is giving her three boys increasingly complex duties over time. She eases her sons into larger chores by first breaking those tasks down into individual, manageable pieces — like learning to fold before assuming responsibility for the entire laundry process.</p><p>"Don't underestimate your kids!" Nelson says. By the age of seven, all three of her boys were successfully tackling their own laundry each week.</p><p>Ben Soreff is a dad of two and also a professional organizer with House to Home Organizing in Norwalk, CT. He notes the importance of specific goals for kids.</p><p>"You can't tell them to clean their room," he says. "They will just shove everything in the closet — they need clear directions." Consider giving your kids a checklist with line items for corralling stuffed animals, making the bed, dusting surfaces or vacuuming.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/GettyImages-185743212_web.jpg" alt="Young child helps his mother fold a towel from the laundry" class="right_image" /><h2>Be patient — and encouraging</h2><p>Recognize that learning how to conquer a chore takes time for kids — and adults. Powell, for instance, found success by focusing on one new chore each year. For example, she'll teach her son to clean the bathroom, then have him practice that task all year in order to master it.</p><p>Whatever your approach, don't drive yourself nuts with unrealistic expectations. Rather than insist on perfection, aim for "good enough." Keep in mind a minimum standard that's both acceptable to you and achievable for your helpers.</p><p>Mark Aselstine, a 38-year-old dad of two boys from El Cerrito, CA, says his 2-year-old son still has plenty to learn when it comes to technique. But he appreciates his enthusiastic efforts in putting away clothes and setting the dinner table for the family, so he encourages any effort. </p><h2>Keep your eyes on the prize</h2><p>You want to teach your kids personal responsibility and the value of contributing to your family's goals. And, ultimately, you want a clean, organized home while still enjoying time with your family.</p><p>Of course, even with a solid plan in place, you may still find it's impossible to achieve perfection. Give yourself a break and consider alternatives. Everyone faces periods of life that are exceptionally busy or stressful. In times such as these, focus on clearing what you can off your plate without heaping on the guilt.</p><p>Identify chores that can be done less frequently than your current schedule requires. Explore which tasks you can eliminate entirely or put off to a less busy time. And give yourself permission to hire out responsibilities — lawn care, housekeeping, have groceries delivered — that are weighing you down.</p><p>Don't get discouraged — chore time is the art of the possible. That said, it is possible to create a plan for a more organized and productive family. It'll require you to be positive, proactive and able to weather some growing pains, but trust that it will be as unique — and, yes, sometimes as messy (but no less beautiful) — as your own family.</p>

Family Affair: Rally Your Kids to Conquer Chores

<p>In my family, the ritual of dinner together is our magnetic north.</p><p>When I first started this family dinner mission, I joked that I was getting our daughters used to the idea at such a young age, so that when they grew into eye-rolling, holed-up-in-their-bedroom high schoolers, they'd be so programmed to report to the table at 7:00 p.m. that even teenage stubbornness wouldn't stop them.</p><p>I'm pleased to report that this actually worked. Even when we are stuck in the house together all day, even if they don't stick around longer than it takes to inhale their chicken tacos, it feels good to feed them.</p><p>So good, it turns out, that I've been documenting this practice on my blog Dinner: A Love Story for 10 years now. Here are three important lessons I've learned about this ritual — and how to make it happen.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/Family eating meal in open plan kitchen together.jpg" alt="Family eating meal in open plan kitchen together" class="right_image" /><h2>3 valuable lessons about family dinner</h2><p>More than just a routine or function of the day, gathering together at the table is about more than the food.</p><h3>1. It's the sitting down that matters</h3><p>It doesn't matter if you're eating a frozen pizza or your family's famous rice and beans recipe. You don't need a PhD in dinner to know that the most important part of the ritual is simply in sitting down together (and at the same time). The point is that everyone has left their respective worlds of social media and conference calls, and has carved out a period of the day to decompress, connect and catch up. If you do this long enough, that's the part you'll hanker for more than any fancy food.</p><p><strong>The how: <em>Banish devices</em></strong>. This goes for the adults at the table, too. Even if you're tempted to search online for something related to the conversation or you feel you must show your kids that hilarious puppy meme that went viral. RESIST. There's no such thing as a quick check of a phone. Before you know it, you're down the rabbit hole, and dinner is over.</p><h3>2. It doesn't have to be from scratch, every night</h3><p><br />If you want to have family dinner become a regular, consistent ritual, the best thing you can do is not force yourself to cook from scratch every night. The surest way to kill the joy of it is to think of it as an obligation.</p><p><strong>The how: <em>Go with a handful of simple dishes</em></strong>. The meals you cook for your kids don't have to be fancy and you don't need a huge rotation of them. A basic baked chicken, black bean tacos or a vegetable-packed stir-fry. Pick <a href="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/lam/articles/culture/food/family-meals-with-jenny-rosenstrach">simple, crowd-pleasing meals</a> you can make on autopilot. Nothing kills the mood or the momentum more than having to follow a 10-step recipe calling for 17 ingredients that you can't find anyway. And, it doesn't have to be all on you — have your partner and the kids take nights as guest chefs.</p><h3>3. Everyone will start craving it</h3><p><br />On the most primal level, we all crave a break from the stresses of the day. This is especially true for the kids. I know they appreciate a time of the day when they don't have to be connected or on. If we go too long without a real sit-down dinner, someone in the house — usually a kid — will call us out on it. "I feel like we haven't had dinner together this week," my 17-year-old said during one particularly stressful week. Which, of course, was code for, "Please make it happen ASAP, mom."</p><p><br /><strong>The how: <em>Make the table a welcoming place</em></strong>. This is a family dinner mantra I stole from my friend Brooke, and I instantly embraced the concept when I heard it. The idea is that we all try to bring our best selves to the table and treat each other with respect: no nagging, no bickering, no judging. It's not always easy, but the effort is well worth the comfortable feeling we all have when we're sitting there.</p>

Why the Family Dinner Matters Now More Than Ever

<p>Tasha, her husband Joseph and their four children moved seven times in eight years.</p><p>They hopscotched across the country, from New York to Connecticut to Texas. They then landed in Philadelphia, PA, before finally settling in Washington, DC, as the couple's careers grew and expanded. Tasha, founder of the blog One Big Happy Life, would never deny that relocation can present challenges, especially with children. But for their family, relocation helped them get out of their comfort zone, teaching them to explore exciting new places.</p><p>"Focusing on the new opportunities and adventures to be had in the new place really helps kids warm up to the idea of moving," Tasha explains.</p><p>Sound easier said than done? You might be surprised. Understanding how other families have taken the relocation leap just might help make your own move feel more like an adventure and less like a free fall.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/web_kidandmom.jpg" alt="mother and child looking out french door windows" class="right_image" /><h2>Breaking the move news</h2><p>When talking with your kids about the move, share information openly and honestly. Explain the practical reasons why the family is making the transition, but also focus on the perks.</p><p>"When we moved to Philadelphia, we talked about how cool it would be for [my oldest daughter] Alexis to be able to take the train into the city and meet us after work for dinner," Tasha says. "When we lived in the suburbs, she wasn't able to enjoy that kind of freedom, and she was excited to have that responsibility."</p><p>If your child still has a specific fear or concern about the move, simply sitting down and talking it through can make a world of difference.</p><p>"With all of our moves, Alexis knew early on when we were considering moving," Tasha shares. "We had her be a part of the house hunt, and she traveled with us when we went to scope out new neighborhoods in different cities. Kids feel empowered when they have a say in where they're going to be moving."</p><h2>Planning ahead</h2><p>Beyond the physical strain of packing boxes and hauling gear, a move can take an emotional toll, too. But with some planning — and lots of room for discussion — there are ways to make for less heavy lifting on all levels.</p><h3>Consider the timing</h3><p>Flexibility is not always in the cards, but if possible, aim to move over the summer or an extended school break, rather than during the middle of the school year. It's less disruptive and allows for an adjustment period, helping your kids get used to big changes in a slower, more bite-sized manner.</p><h3>Keep kids informed and involved</h3><p>Don't assume your kids understand what's happening. Take the time to explain what the move means, even if it seems obvious to you. "Your child may worry that she won't get to keep her bed or her toys or her beloved pet," points out Ali Wenzke, author of <em>The Art of Happy Moving</em>. "Additionally, one of the hardest parts about moving for kids is the lack of control they feel," says Wenzke. She suggests allowing kids more control in the process by asking for their opinions and taking their input seriously. Decisions built from consensus give kids a reason to "buy-in" and own their part in the move.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/web_Kids-in-the-backseat-in-carseats-edit.jpg" alt="kids in backseat in carseats" class="right_image" /><h3>Visit your new hometown</h3><p>Plan a family trip to check out your new town and neighborhood. See the sights. Research the history. Scout out parks and other places to play. Schedule tours of the local schools your kids might attend so they can become familiar with them, and maybe even meet some teachers. "It can help kids start forming positive memories of their new home," Tasha explains.</p><h3>Immerse yourselves in the culture</h3><p>Is your new town famous for a particular cuisine? Pick out a recipe to make with your children as a celebratory pre-move meal. If a movie was filmed there, watch it together. If there's a sports team in the area, jump on the bandwagon and find a reason to cheer.</p><h3>Get involved in your new community</h3><p>Make connections with neighbors and local families as soon as possible — even before you arrive. Find some things you're excited to try in the new place, like a workout class or a park to explore. Sign up for parents' groups online, <a href=" https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/lam/home">join community organizations</a>, and get on mailing lists for local businesses and recreation centers.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/web_carinakoe  copy.jpg" alt="mother and child playing with masks" class="right_image" /><h3>Prioritize friendships</h3><p>It's not always easy to meet new people, so — to whatever extent you can — help your kids find their new friend group. Encourage them to join clubs or sports that match their interests.</p><p>That said, try to maintain old ties as well. Keep up with cherished friends via phone, social media or email. If possible, invite them to stay at your new home.</p><p>Blogger Carolyn Fogg and her family relocated from New York, NY, to Boston, MA, when her husband got a new job — an exciting opportunity with one snag: The couple's 3-year-old daughter felt very settled and comfortable among her friends at daycare.</p><p>"She mentioned her old friends often and talked about how much she missed them," Fogg says. "We made it a point to stay in touch with the kids from her old daycare by sending letters and postcards. The letters in the mail were a wonderful surprise for her and brought a little piece of home as she started her new daycare and made new friends there."</p><p>As much as your kids will benefit from making new friends as they settle in, the same applies to you. The relocation will be easier for you, too, once you find neighbors, fellow parents or co-workers whom you connect with and who can introduce you to local spots around your new town.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/web_African descent kid helping mom doing the laundry.jpg" alt="mother and daughter doing laundry" class="right_image" /><h3>You don't need to fix things — just listen</h3><p>If your kids struggle with any part of your move, it might be tempting to rush in and fix whatever problem you know you can easily solve. But parenting expert Kate Orsen explains this isn't necessarily the right action to take.</p><p>Orsen – author of <em>Tears Heal: How to Listen to Our Children</em> – explains that kids might have meltdowns over seemingly small things as a way to process larger feelings about the transition. "During these moments, you may not want to try and fix anything or try and reason them out of their feelings," Orsen says, "but to simply listen, empathize and offer hugs."</p><p>She goes on to explain that by listening rather than interfering, you allow your kids to fully process how they feel — and to begin healing from any negative experiences. And she reminds parents that what your children may proclaim when he or she is deeply emotional isn't necessarily true.</p><p>"They may say that they don't want to move or hate the idea, but as they process their feelings they can come around to the idea, let go of fear and embrace a new beginning with confidence," Orsen says.</p><p>Situations and needs are diverse, so there's no one-size-fits-all solution for a smooth transition. But chances are, that comforting piece of advice you've given to your child or spouse will probably benefit you as well — so be sure to heed it too.</p>

Make Your Next Family Move a Smooth One

<p>Considering a move? Before you break out the moving boxes, take a closer look at how the real cost of living adds up.</p><p>Derek Tharp has seen Portland, ME, where he lives, grow in popularity with those fleeing high housing prices in Boston, MA, just two hours south. Although smaller, this coastal city suits people's lifestyles, as well as their pocketbooks.</p><p>And, as a financial advisor and assistant professor of finance, Tharp notes another trend, too: when moving from an expensive market to a less costly one, people don't always take advantage of the change in their cost of living. Tharp says this shift should be a boon to bank accounts. However, people often mentally still budget at the former higher price points.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/young_family_sitting_on_sofa_reading_a book_together_in_their_living_room.jpg" alt="young family sitting on sofa reading a book together in their living room" class="right_image" /><h2>What is the cost of living?</h2><p>So, what is the cost of living, exactly? It's simply the price of both big-ticket and everyday items, based on location. Housing is the most significant factor in the equation, along with transportation, utilities, food and healthcare. However, experts point out that by relying too much on indexes or calculators, you may leave out essential items.</p><p>One of those left-out items is taxes. "A lot of the calculators don't take into consideration state taxes, local taxes, property taxes or income taxes," says Tharp. Additional (or fewer) taxes can affect budgets in dramatic ways.</p><p>This oversight is something that Winona Dimeo-Ediger experienced. "I moved from Oregon to Nashville, and in Tennessee, we have no state income tax. The difference that factor alone made was huge, and since I didn't even take it into account, it was a pleasant surprise," says Dimeo-Ediger, who is editor-in-chief of Livability, a website covering small and medium-sized cities.</p><p>The average cost of living is just that — an average. One's lifestyle may not follow a median price point. "I was just talking to the mayor of a city that has a really high median home price," says Dimeo-Ediger. "They get a lot of heat for it. But as the mayor points out: That's the median. It's not like you can't find a less expensive house in that city."</p><p>Dimeo-Ediger uses her town as an example. "The price of housing is high in Nashville, but a lot of the new houses are big and modern," she says. "If you're looking for something smaller, or in a less trendy area of town, you can still find homes for an accessible price."</p><h2>Factor in the substitution effect</h2><p>According to Tharp, real spending won't necessarily dovetail with a cost-of-living number that a calculator spits out. Lifestyle choices — from the house you buy to the school your kids attend — impact your bottom line.</p><p>And there's an economics principle known as the substitution effect at play here, too. The substitution effect explains why comparing the price difference between cities with an expensive housing market and a more affordable market could paint an incomplete picture.</p><p>For example, a cost-of-living calculator compares prices based on your living the same lifestyle in two different places. If moving from a more affordable suburban area to an expensive city center Tharp says, "The calculator's going to assume that somebody stays in that same type of house." But, in reality with such a move, you'd most likely downsize and choose a smaller house, because housing is more expensive per square foot — that's the substitution effect at play.</p><p>Likewise, consider a move from a city with reliable public transportation over a town where you'll need a car. To accurately assess, you'll need to run the numbers to show how public transportation costs compare to car payments, gas, auto insurance, repairs and parking fees.</p><p>As Tharp explains, a move may change the ways in which you spend money, from clothing to entertainment to transportation. Also, note what you might not need to budget for in a new place. "There may be entire categories of spending that go away because it's not available in the market or you no longer need it," Tharp says.</p><img src="https://www.lifeandmoney.citi.com/rcs/lifeandmoney/storage/public/Fire_escapes_of_New_York_on_a_bright_day.jpg" alt="Fire escapes of New York on a bright day" class="right_image" /><h2>Adding up the intangibles of a budget</h2><p>Of course, even with a more accurate price comparison in hand, that's hardly the whole story. There are intangibles that contribute to quality of life and overall happiness.</p><p>Cambridge, MA-based career coach Penelope Trunk helps clients assess the merits of relocating for work, and notes community as a key decision-making factor. A trusted community provides emotional and economic benefits such as helping with childcare or taking care of pets. And, as Trunk points outs, studies show that professional economic gain can't always replace the happiness we feel from spending time with loved ones.</p><p>Many of the perks of living in one place over another can't be captured in a calculator. "Looking at the cost–of-living numbers is a flat view," says Dimeo-Ediger. "When I'm talking about what makes a place affordable, or the quality of life you get for a certain price there, I'm looking a ton of things that can't even be measured."</p><p>For Dimeo-Ediger, that means the local festivals, events, access to nature, and other entertainment options that are free or low-cost. "It's why I'm not planning to leave Nashville, because even though it's becoming a less affordable city every day, it's an easy place to have fun for not a lot of money," she says. "It makes a bigger difference than people realize."</p><p>To that point, Trunk encourages people to envision their lives in detail. "What do you imagine doing every day? Pick out an exact day. Pick Tuesday," says Trunk. If you want to start every Tuesday walking to a yoga class and then grabbing a cup of coffee in a bustling little corner cafe, well, a rural move might not suit you, no matter how affordable the cost of living may be.</p><h2>Finding home</h2><p>Ultimately, Dimeo-Ediger says, finding a home is about much more than the numbers. It's about the sentiment and feel of the place as well.</p><p>You need to ask yourself questions that will add to your happiness, such as, "Does it feel like this is where I'm supported, where I feel like this is my community, and this is my home?" Dimeo-Ediger says. And those are factors you just can't plug into a calculator.</p>

Figure Out a Truer Cost of Living, Before You Make a Move

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